Embracing Your Season


    

I'm glad for my weaknesses it led me to deeper strength.


Seasons of life may change but God is the God of all our days.  
But can we truly embrace the season of life that we are in, even if it may not seem to be the one that feels like a vast vineyard that is full and lush? Instead, it's a challenging season. We feel stuck and not bearing fruit. Can we praise God for the result that is not yet there, while still sitting in what seems to be a messy situation? Can we say to God, "If you are going to get some glory out of this then I'm glad"?
This certainly takes faith. 

What season are you in right now?
Maybe, like me, that moment for you is at homea wife. It doesn't sound and feel so fancy, right? What's worst for me is that I'm not a mom yet and totally able for work. Let me guess for some of your initial thinking: "Lazy, Gold Digger, Such a Shame" are some of the resounding thoughts that I usually hear. 
Truth is, I've been in a continual state of coming undone. Turns out that coming undone is part of coming alive. Where this gives me a front row seat to God's amazing grace over and over again. His provision that I keep on receiving in which I don't deserve. That kind of grace, that kind of love, that kind of God.
The battle you have ahead of you is already won. And the truth about every battle is: What feels hopeless is where you meet more Jesus.
Throughout almost a decade of my career, I'm always the one that is thinking there seems to be a missing link. I did thrive, well, maybe not that very good at all times. Still, the lack of passion and fulfillment as well as that big question (Why), kept taunting me. Others looked content and passionate but what about me? It's not that I was unhappy. It's just that this specific area in my life felt off. You think that I could be that ungrateful person. That may be so, but I kept on showing up. Perhaps, I wasn't that good at appreciating and understanding. I had definitely wasted opportunities and had missed God's important lessons because I wasn't looking. I let myself be in the flow of what I supposed/should be doing until all these noises of work-life drowned me. You see I'm an intuitive person but I failed to express who I really am which resulted in me living somehow a selfish life.
Of course, the physical health issue that I developed, not just the environment which caused me to stop. I'm glad it happened, it was like God was telling me that it's time. Time to let go cause I'm taking you to a new level. Certainly, it wasn't easy to fully surrender. I found myself looking for another job, which I thought would be the answer to my puzzling career. It was totally different than I expected it to be. But I know deep down inside of me that these aren't the things that God called me to do for now. I had to deal with myself before God and stopped listening to others expectations. So much that it became a cultural norm that you have to have a job, if not then you are no good. Such that when people ask you, their usual question is "Where do you work? or Have you found a job yet?" 
I can't blame anyone but only God gets to define me. He says I am chosen and dearly loved. He says to me that I got you, you don't have to worry. Indeed, I see more of his great goodness that I would have missed and wouldn't be aware of if I had not let go. I know it was part of the process.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:30 
I don't necessarily like what I'm going through now and I'm not saying that it's fair. That's not the point. The point is, God is achieving a purpose through this. Some things are so much better now. I see the world in a completely different way. That it's making it clearer and clearer what He puts me on earth for.  All leading me closer to the woman God created me to be. That's it, that's the one thing that really sets my heart and soul on fire. As I fully understand and get to know myself, I know I am making progress. I don't have to gauge my life from a wrong perspective. I know God is always with me. Even if it's dark right now, and even if it's confusing right now and even if it's been a long time. I'm glad that it happened and I would not have it any other way. If not, I would not have known that this is the dream, this is where God put me. I don't have to understand the entirety of the dream. All I have to do is to serve with all my heart the purpose of the season. He who placed that big dream in my heart shall make it happen. I'm running a revival and I think that there's something that God still wants to do while I'm in this. God is bringing me in a place of confidence of what he's instilled down on the inside of me and I've never been so alive.





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2 comments

  1. "serve with all my heart the purpose of the season" - wow! that's powerful amidst the circumstances you are facing right now. I like this look on you too. ;)

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    Replies
    1. It’s never easy, Gladz but as the song goes, “Trust and Obey for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus...” 🙂

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