How's your Self-Image? Now I'm not talking about how you see yourself in front of the mirror, I'm referring to what you really see of yourself inside your mind. You have a picture of yourself in your mind, your inner self-image.
I sure wish that despite the unavoidable failures in life, you still see yourself as worthy and highly regarded. Someone whose disposition in life is unmistakably remarkable.
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| 12.23.2017 |
This love is like an expression of God's love towards me, a love that is pure and true.
After 9 long years in a relationship, we finally tied the knot. It sounds like such a hard work of waiting but honestly, it doesn't feel like it. I can't explain why and I'm not even kidding. Maybe it's the work of God within us that keeps us sane and simply enjoying what He's been blessing us every moment.
Before anything else, let me clarify that I'm in not bragging here. I'm well aware of others difficulty such as financial constraints and while for those who are way more than mine, know that, I'm genuinely happy for you.
They say that it's every little girl's dream to wear their perfect wedding gown. Well, I must count myself as one of the exceptions. The thing is, it just grew over time the moment we started planning. From then on I started noticing wedding gown designers. It was in March of last year when I saw that wedding gown from a known designer's page. You'd agree with me that there are tons of other wedding gown designs that are more amazing and have more wow factor compared to the gown that you like, but your heart really goes to that one dress. It's maybe because it screams your personality, that's so you in a gown. I have to say that I'm simple especially when it comes to accessories. I'm not into bulky earrings and lots of bracelets/necklaces going on. I don't want too much attention and you bet, I'm the conservative type. The design that I saw was the perfect reflection of what I imagined. It's simple yet very classy and elegant looking.
Allow me to backtrack things because I'm a kinda detailed person. With that being said, don't expect it to be all so pretty because it isn't. I admit the messy part too. If you are interested, you may sit back, relax and I guess enjoy reading.
It was in June of last year when we officially announced that were engaged, I guess you are thinking that our engagement period was so short, but no. Apparently, we have planned it out since last December 2016 and we've informed our families. It just that there wasn't any form of a ring proposal. I don't think so that in every relationship you will never talk about it first before your partner would ask you and hand over a ring. Well, maybe that would be the case for some but definitely not for us. I especially don't want to make a fuss about it because of what happened a few months ago at that time. We both decided not to make it big but I know for sure he will do the ring proposal anytime soon. Yet, I was caught off guard when he did it. I really can't believe that I didn't have any single hint. I was so sure that I'm one of the top performing "detective girlfriends' in the entire universe.lol!
Anyhow, one of the many things that you will consider in finding the perfect wedding gown is the design. In my case, it was between having a mermaid cut or a ball gown (A-line cut). Here's a mermaid cut ready-made gown that I tried in July, this was the time when we started canvassing for our wedding. I must say that we were really involved and hands-on with all our wedding preparations. The reason why my mind wasn't all about finding the right wedding gown yet. It so happened that the person in charge asked me about my wedding gown which resulted in me trying on. The option of buying a ready-to-wear gown is more likely for me. Less hassle, there are various designs available and yes there were pretty ones. Of course, I wasn't negating the option to rent which is a more money-saving and the most practical way. However, when you get to this point, I don't know how can I say this but as a bride you want to be at your best wearing the perfect gown. Though I guess there's part of me being into fashion. Just take this, as long as it's within your budget then go for it. I was also considering if I could have both wherein I can wear the A-line cut during the ceremony and something like this one for the reception. This would have been a perfect idea. If only we received the GC early on which I shared with you in my E-Session post. Oh well, I suppose I'm meant to wear the gown that I could call my own.
Honestly, that (mermaid cut that I tried on) was the only wedding gown that I got to try on. Little did I know, I already have the design that I love in mind. The way you see it, I've decided to rock a ball gown design. It's a once in a lifetime event to wear a ball gown. You see, an ordinary girl like me have zero/low possibility of wearing a ball gown again unless I'm some kind of a celebrity or something and that is so true! Compared to wearing a mermaid-cut gown, I'm sure wearing this style again have higher chances. And I have no issues wearing a ball gown because I'm a petite girl which automatically removes the fear of looking big. I tried to keep it to myself at first while we were busy with the things that we need to prioritize, though I got to share it with my fiance (now husband). Still, I personally didn't hope for it mainly because I know that custom made can be expensive. But come this unexpected day, one of our possible gown suppliers convinced us to have my wedding gown custom made. They sounded nice at first which even more fueled my desire to realize my dream wedding gown. I showed them the design (this was in August) that I like and they assured us that they can deliver. The deal is that we'll only pay for the labor while for the purchasing of the materials will be on us except for the swarovski crystals. I honestly thought that it can save us for less. I won't say that it's cheap but still and when it comes to materials, boy the total amount is still something. Not to mention the hassle of personally finding and buying the materials. That moment when I was like a pro at this kind of stuff but not really plus I'm sure that it's not of a big difference if all the work was on them—facepalm!
This was the first fitting, it was roughly one month before our wedding day. Can you imagine? I had this feeling that this process would cause me a headache and true enough it was the beginning of unglued moments with them. In spite of that, I kept my hope high that it will be okay.
I personally preferred mine to be pure white. I actually went back to their shop after the first fitting because of a tiny concern but still, it turned out to be an unpleasant feeling. I think it's part of my being introvert, I can immediately sense what kind of personality or attitude the person towards me. It's definitely not a judger or sensitive type because it always proves to be true and that's a burden I have to live by.
Their shop was on the transition of relocating. Our main contact who will do the lace design was already assigned to their new shop but their dressmaker and the one who does the beadworks were still assigned in their old shop until a specific date. This caused us a hard time in having their communication in sync. I understand they were really busy with the transition and I get that they have to meet deadlines. I don't know how to explain in a more concise way but working with them was complicated. I was stressed out. Also, it was an added inconvenience on our part that their new location is very far.
This was the second and final fitting on December 16. A week before our wedding and yet they're still not done putting on the laces as well as haven't started yet with the beadworks. Regardless, I'm happy to see that the kind of cloth that I personally chose for the topmost layer of my gown which holds the lace fabric looked nice. It exactly represents the dreamy cloud looking feel that I want. The lace fabric wasn't my personal choice though. We were having a hard time looking for the exact kind of lace but still, I think it's not that bad. When I put it on, one of their customers complimented that the gown looked good and she never thought that it's a beautiful gown just by staring at it on a mannequin. My heart was at ease, even though I had to use round petticoat which I initially disliked but I got no choice since the kind of petticoat that they sewed together wasn't enough to create volume.
The expected pickup date was on December 21 but we got it a day before our wedding. I was so upset for all the trouble that they caused. I couldn't help but vent out my frustrations through our exchange messages. What if there are still changes that I want to do? There's not enough time for that. You can't blame me. I still have a lot on my plate in my to-do list the reason why I only got to see it until the wedding day. That's how busy we were.
True enough, I had issues with it. I was surprised to see that the Swarovski crystals that we discussed weren't met. I still have the samples with me. They used a different kind of stone. All I want is for it to shine and sparkle and now it hardly sparkle! It only looked like white and silver beads on. Also, because of the kind of stone they used, it highlighted the color of the skin tone tulle cloth even more. On the other hand, look at how they put on those lace fabric, I mean is that how it supposed to look like? Anyone can tell that it was done in a rushed manner and it looked so crowded. They even put the lace fabric all the way to the bottom which is not necessary. I gave them printed copies of each side of the design that I like and how come they can't even follow. Even the upper back zipper portion looked totally undone. It was upsetting.
You can see here the lace fabrics being all the way down at the bottom which causes the gown to look crumpled. They could have let the topmost cloth flow on its own just like how it looked like on my final fitting picture since the cloth looks good on its own. Do I sound ungrateful? I hope not. These were just raw emotions at that time and let's be honest it happens.
Whoever said that walking in a long trail gown on a carpeted floor is a good idea? It sure adds up a lot of weight to your gown. I wasn't informed. Other than that, I didn't have any issues with it, I even danced in my long trail gown without any problem. I must mention that I appreciate their dressmaker who was so easy to work with. She was so good with her craft and was able to follow the deep U-shape at the back which I'm in love. And did I mention that there wasn't any major issue with the fitting? The gown was comfortable, It was such a breeze. It's doesn't feel heavy and tight. The latter is such an important factor for me who is someone struggling with GERD. If you are like me then you can definitely relate to my fears. One of the important concern that I prayed for. I was feeling fine the entire event and God is indeed faithful.
As I've said, I didn't hope that I could have my wedding gown custom made but sure God is able to bless more. I feel his work in me that even on my wedding day he never failed to teach me some pretty good lessons in life. I chose not to escalate things because I know I'm beyond blessed. I know that my gown is still beautiful in its own way and that they put out their best as well. Thre's always a lesson behind in every situation and it's actually a privilege to be able to really look deep down to ourselves and to others. In my heart, I know that there's so much to be thankful for. I can't contain it.
Ahh, and of course God's timing is the best. Had we decided on our own will to get married in our early years, I'm sure it wouldn't be this grand. I would have looked like a teeny-bopper who's just madly in love on a white dress if that would be the case because I'm so petite. ^^ Indeed, God makes all things beautiful in His time.
See the entrance walkway flower backdrop (flower wall)? I really dig it and you sure do know that it entails another chitchat for some other time. So stay tuned. :)
Let's take a break for a while from all the love series posts and let me take you to this camp place right here. The campsite is named "Camp Bato" (bato means rock/stone) because of the huge mountain of stone which you can see on the picture below.
Aahh, this place brings so much feels and meaning to me. I can't deny that it's so dear to me. It has been 10 years since I last set foot in this campsite. I know this for sure, this is where God took a strong hold of me and the main reason why my faith is deeply rooted. Fact is, not just me but thousands of lives have been touched and transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ in this beautiful place.
Have you been to a camp retreat? I personally attended at least 5 times (that I could count of) during my high school and college days. I've also experienced being one of the camp counselor/staff. It's amazing how God's work reveals in this place. It's a place wherein you can bond with fellow believers, away from the city life (you can hardly get signal in here), the fresh smell and breeze of the air and there are times when it's cold season you will get a wonderful experience with fog. I can't put into words how I'm in awe of His greatness. Indeed glory and honor to Him alone.
We tend to have several confusions before engagement session. Probably the location to choose that would integrate into the theme you want to achieve is the most prevalent. Some couples would go all-out in creativity and also willing to spend an amount of time to go to a certain place that will include those picturesque sceneries.
For us, we wanted it to be really personal which is close to our hearts and that would entail our story. As much as possible, it will look simple, reserve and will capture our love for each other that highlights a sense of sincerity. And one thing that will not look overly done. I'm happy that we were able to achieve it, I must admit that there were constraints along the way. The important thing is that we enjoyed and had fun. We managed to pull out four locations within the day. All were accessible which took approximately 10-15 mins from one location to another.
Who says you can't do an engagement photoshoot near you?
You bet!
For us, we wanted it to be really personal which is close to our hearts and that would entail our story. As much as possible, it will look simple, reserve and will capture our love for each other that highlights a sense of sincerity. And one thing that will not look overly done. I'm happy that we were able to achieve it, I must admit that there were constraints along the way. The important thing is that we enjoyed and had fun. We managed to pull out four locations within the day. All were accessible which took approximately 10-15 mins from one location to another.
Who says you can't do an engagement photoshoot near you?
You bet!
This will be the start of my love series posts and what better way to start by sharing our love story, right? Although our love story was shared during our wedding, it's rightful to also share it here. Before we get started, here's a glimpse of our younger looking face, less than a year in our relationship whilst me rocking a short hair. ^^
This is just a few of the many photos we have together. It's obvious that we like taking pictures. Well, it's actually him who's really into photography. These were some of the shots taken from his digital camera before. As far as I know, this was his first big purchase and until then he got himself a more professional one which is the DSLR camera. It all happened during the time when only a few owned those gadgets. I'm saying this because, at that time, it was pretty expensive though until now professional cameras are really pricey but he got himself one. I guess he got his passion for photography from his late father who was once a professional photographer.
It is there, the question that you do not dare to ask it out loud, the ones you never want to admit and you probably wouldn't write it in your journal. As you circle around and look into yourself, you ask "why her?"
You might think that these shades seem off. It's summer or perhaps springtime for some and fall is so over. Relax, I know, but I live in a tropical country. We can wear whatever style we want in any type of weather we have outside. What I mean is that, if we want to wear a jacket on a hot day, it's totally fine. Unlike for other countries that experience a different type of season, you can't wear shorts and sleeveless on a cold winter day. I'm pretty sure you get what I mean.
I'm loving this berry/wine/maroon palette. I just think that it flatters my skin-tone. Even for the lip shade, it instantly brightens my face. At the same time, gold or metallic rose gold compliments my skin too. I'm not saying that I should stick to this color. Remember, dressing well is as much as the color hues you choose.
Now to this pencil skirt, I'd be honest, I rarely wear this kind of style. I swear I love imagining myself wearing this fashion piece when I was still in my 20's but I simply don't look good on it. I adore girls who look effortlessly good. I'm not one of those lucky girls who's gifted with wide hips and long legs.
Over time my body shape has developed a bit and maybe because I've matured enough and learned to love myself even more. I got the confidence to try on different styles. Guess what, it's really not that bad. You just have to find a way which would be the right style that will fit you.
I must say that the style of the skirt really add up to the look and helps in creating a curvy illusion. I always like to pair any high-waisted bottom with a crop top. If you don't have one, you may always tuck up any shirt to help elongate your legs and give emphasis to your skirt. Since I'm petite and don't have the height of a supermodel.haha.. I got to carry on trusty wedge sandals. Not too high, because you know I don't like super high heels, just wedge type and with the right heel height.
This style may not pass as your everyday look but this definitely is essential. You can wear it at events and even as work office outfit. And oh, adding it with a blazer will complete the look if you opt to use it at work.
Who else would agree that pencil skirt is such a staple style?
It gives you a polished, put-together and profession-looking one.
Ahh, it's so nice to be back, kickin' and breathing in this space right here.
I sure had been overthinking.
One thing is definite and has been growing over time—blogging. I sure know that it's starting to make sense why my blog name has the word 'channel', it means that it's my desire to connect, help, and inspire people on a deeper level.
It's never easy but I couldn't just shrug it off. This sounds like it's beginning to a more awkward situation, but I am awkward so bare with me.
